Half the fun of working in this industry can sometimes be telling folks what you do, just to see the reactions you get. Of course, if you're doing it just for this reason, you should probably seek career counseling and grow up a bit. However, the occasional pleasure of these moments cannot be denied.
It's a little different, though, when you start to deal with the issue of interacting with the talent. Whether you are behind the camera or in front of it, ideally, you should work with people who stir the fires of your passion. If not, again, you might want to consider why you are in this industry to begin with. After all, you cannot make exceptional porn if you yourself find the acts and actors less than appealing.
But therein lies one of the most daunting problems for the aspiring pornographer. The people you need to approach about working with you to make your dreams come true may also be the people you want to approach to make your personal fantasies come true. And they know it.
You would not want to photograph them doing things to each other if you didn't also find the thought of doing those things with them arousing. But being aroused is not the best state of mind in which to begin negotiations for a business relationship--especially if you are not entirely certain that that is all you wish to negotiate.
I have said it before, and I will say it again. Do not get into the adult entertainment industry in search of sex. Not that you won't find it, but there are better, more honorable, and cheaper ways to get sex if that is what you are looking for. Getting it as a side benefit to a business is bad for business, bad for your social life, and bad for the people who want to either work or play with you.
At this point, you may be dismissing my comments as platitutes or generalities which do not apply to someone as emotionally mature and personally experienced as you are. Please, take my warnings seriously, because it is you I am addressing. The less vulnerable you think you may be to this issue, the more likely it is that it will sneak up on you and eat away at your success, your relationships, and your ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life which may have drawn you to this line of work in the first place.
This warning is even more relevant to those of you who have a mate or special life partner. While I would hope you chose to discuss this with him or her first, you cannot expect that anyone can reasonably predict the way they will react when seeing you surrounded day after day with what can only be perceived as sexual competition.
Your mate may be in the industry as well, or may profess to have extremely evolved ideas about sexual freedom and personal expression. It may even be true, but don't count on it! I say this not to discourage you, or offend anyone you may love, but rather to keep your attention on this issue as your professional life progresses.
It is also possible to find yourself less interested in your own sexuality as you submerge yourself daily in the erotic fantasies and activities of others. After a day at the factory turning out shoelaces, there's nothing you want to see less than a pair of shoes which need to be tied. This phenomenon of overload is just as prevalent when you work in adult entertainment.
But if you have a mate, or are pursuing a potential mate, your sex life is not something that you can turn off at the end of the work day, no matter how much it reminds you of the "office" and the busy days ahead. It is your responsibility to find ways to distinguish your personal sexual adventures from the ones you work on for your business, and make them just as exciting for you as you want them to be for your partner.
It is vital to show outwardly and consistently just how strong your feeling are for your mate, both emotionally and physically. The intimidating realities about the people a partner works with become even more overwhelming when that work deals directly with sexuality. You need to bring your sexual appetite home with you, and share it with your mate, without letting the fact that you work in adult entertainment dampen your enthusiasm for private adult pleasures.
There is a third person involved in this issue as well, and that is the one who embodies your sexual ideals, and also works with you on the set capturing those ideals for the sake of a hungry audience. A performer in adult entertainment is a person, just like yourself, with all the insecurities and issues you have. It only confuses the nature of your professional relationship when you introduce your sexuality into it.
While many adult performers have a long history of dealing with unwanted advances, they should not have to deal with this issue when they are working. Coming from a director, producer, or other hiring authority, it can be actionable. Coming from another performer, it can interfere with professionalism on the set, and lead to less than stellar work. Coming from a stage hand or assistant, it can distract a performer to the point of not being able to produce a convincing scene. And coming from an administrative professional, it can lead to fears about the implications of having personal information in the hands of someone whose feeling are less than professional.
The best policy is to keep your business relationships business only, and not cross that fine line between engaging a performer's sexual services on the set, and seeking to satisfy your own sexuality.
For your sake, and the sake of your personal and professional relationships, present and future, it is vital to separate your sexual play from your sexual work.
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